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::::::: Update on Sunday 18 October 2008: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Funny at this hour I suddenly had a thought. Why am I here on this website? Well, like all of us, this is my little space to express myself. Or at least part of myself.
I've been on here for about a year now and I have seen my feminine side, or the 'x' bit of my 'xy' change and evolve. That's been limited by my whole lifestyle which can't accomodate Mandy that much. Sometimes that feels frustrating and even depressing as I love my femme side and playing the role of Mandy. That includes the sensational feeling of geting dressed in nice female clothes and lingerie. It's not just how they look on me, it's how the lovely soft materials feel that really makes it so special. Then when I pop my D cup boobs in, I really feel like a woman.
What I came to realise tonight is how needy and fickle we can be. I keep popping in here almost every day to see if I have any more '10's' and messages. I was so pleased that out of 32 votes; 28 were 10's. The lowest was 8, and average 9.87. So I'd got some recognition of my effort to look as nice and girlie as I could, and also I hope given some people pleasure of seeing a cute blondie! This is just how I would want to be if I was a GG.
So thankyou to all those lovely people who gave me those votes and for the lovely messages. What I have decided now, is that maybe I am happy that I've gotten my marks out of 10, but it's more important to me now to be here for other reasons. Such as being on-line 'friends', chatting, supporting people like me, and crucially projecting my female image for my own and hopefully other peoples appreciation and enjoyment.
So I have disabled my voting button because that should not be why I come here. Though I must say it is nice to be well regarded by some and ok, I have no problem if admirers like to 'admire' my photos. I do it with other peoples, lol...!
I hope that I can evolve more, learn to do make up better, keep my figure nice and firm, beat the wrinkles that age brings and look as nice as I can. My, do I wish for more Mandy time to do this. We can all only do our best and that's one thing that is good for us here, that we have the relative privacy, security and opportunity to show a part of ourselves that maybe is largely hidden from most of the rest of the world!
So, that's my blog done for now. Al you lovely girls, guys, take care..
Mandy x
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My story:
How many years does it take to even begin to truly understand ourselves? Big question hey! For me, I think the answer is 40+. I'm a cross-dresser/t-girl or trans-gendered person. I think I'm begining to make sense of things and really enjoy being who I am.
It's hard to find the time I really want and need to be ME. I'm sure most of us have this problem of balancing out our various priorities as well as keeping secrets! But, when i do get Mandy time, I try to make the best of it.
It's funny after years of not understanding enough about why women need to spend so much time looking after their appearance, I most certainly can now. Bad hair days, bad make-up days, putting on weight, having shoes to match everything.... WE know what that's like. Don't we! So, I try to lookas good as I can, when I can.
As the years have gone by, I've learned to accept and feel more and more comfortable with who I really am. When I'm Mandy I feel so much happier. I had always loved looking at picures of pretty girls in lingerie. I fell in love with a really beautiful girl. She wore gorgeous lingerie and lovely clothes. She loved lace undies and pretty frocks. I used to 'treat' her (and myself - of course). The thrill of browsing round bras and knickers at M&S, La Senza etc. was wonderful. We are still very good friends now.
I now love being Mandy whenever I can. Having worked in an office, I love office girls attire and especially power dressing.
Doing make up is a real learning curve, isn't it. The advice on this site is really good and a few good friends that I have met here have been helpful too. So I am gradually getting there. As in, finding out how I want Mandy to be. I feel that certain girls I have met on the path through life have influenced this and maybe one day they'll see the end product. LoL! I think that we (the trans-gendered community) as still very mis/un-understood and not accepted in society. I hope that will change in the future as I am sure we all do.
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My Vitals:
Height: 6' 0 / Waist 30/32 / Bra size: 38 C/D / Dress size 14/16 Skirts: Size 12
Eyes: Blue / Green / Hair: Currently blonde.
Got a nice bum and good legs, so I've been told by several girl-friends. Though at this age, I need to keep working out and look after everything if u know wot I mean.
Mandy Loves: Dressing up. Esp. in lovely lingerie - satin and lace. That feel of the drab clothes coming off and the nice girl ones slipping onto me is fab... I like shopping for clothes and underwear. Some day I want to go out with a few girlfriends and do some girlie shopping.
Being an office girl / secretary! Blouse (slighty see-thru, that shows lingerie), high waisted pencil skirt, stockings, suspenders, heels, lippie and specs on...... The power dressing thing does it for me ;) BIG TIME!
Mandy doesn't like: Not being able to be Mandy as often as she wants too.
Can't be doing with biggotry, racisism, intolerance and arrogance. I am very much 'live and let live'. Realising who I am has made me a far more relaxed, rounded and rational person.Thinking about it I suppose if I want acceptance myself from others, then I need to do the same for them. Even if it's the lads in the pub spouting out racist, homophobic nonsense when they're angry that their football team isn't winning.
OK girls and boys, thats it for now.
Mandy
x
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There are more of my pics on
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mandy36dee/:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::